Bulk Biceps' Kingdom
by StupidSequel
Summary: After Twilight resigns from her role as princess, Celestia, Luna, and probably Cadence host job interviews to fill the empty void. Bulk Biceps encourages every pony to lift weights and uses a force stronger than magic. Also, I noticed a plot hole sometime after submitting it. See if you can spot it.


**Bulk Biceps' Kingdom**

**(Takes place after Twilight's Kingdom)**

Spike puked up a letter along with a partially digested burrito. Twilight winced, and then she opened the letter anyway, using her magic to conjure a Green Lantern ring to conjure up cash so she could go out and buy some hoof wipes. Then she came back to her lovely abode and read the letter.

'Dear Twilight Sparkle, a new threat looms on the horizon. Only you can stop it.'

"Tell me something I don't know," Twilight said with gritted teeth. She had more questions still.

So she flew to Canterlot to speak with Celestia.

"Can you please tell me more about this new threat?" Twilight asked eagerly.

"It's not here yet, but when it comes, be ready." Celestia said sternly.

"You can't tell me more?" Twilight demanded. "I am so effing bored."

Months passed, no sign of a threat looming, ever. _Maybe she made a mistake. I think I'm gonna stop caring. _Just as she thought that, she had an epiphany.

"Oh my gosh, I must be the threat Celestia was talking about in her letter!" Twilight gasped. "I'm evil because I had a moment of not caring if evil showed up. Miss Celestia, I hereby resign from being Princess Twilight Sparkle. I can't allow evil to seep into the throne."

"As you wish, but I am sad to see you go." Twilight's wings disappeared. Now they were down to just 3 Alicorn Princesses. But Twilight was happy with herself that she managed to accomplish the mission she set out for.

"Shit, we need a fourth Alicorn Princess to fill the void, you know, in case Tirek breaks out of prison again, so we can use them as a magic sponge."

"Great idea. But how do we

The next morning the newspaper help wanted ads featured a particular job offer: to be the fourth Alicorn Princess. It pays $60 an hour, and the job requirements are: you have to feel comfortable speaking in public, have excellent social skills, be able to take criticism, and you have to be able to handle making tough decisions on a regular basis. Apply online or at either the Canterlot or Crystal Empire castles. The castles were absolutely flooded with applicants who wanted to try their hoof at being the next princess. Even some of the male ponies.

Next up, some of the ponies, the ones that didn't write in Comic Sans or put '911' as contact info, were selected for interviews.

"What qualities make you qualified to lead this great nation?" Celestia was asking a nervous and unconfident looking some pony during his interview.

"I-uh, I-uh, do great things in my thingie."

"NEXT!" Celestia beckoned them out.

"Tell me about yourself," Luna asked Bulk Biceps.

"Girl look at that body. I work out. When I walk in this spot, this is what I see. Everybody stops and they're staring at me, I got passion in my pants if I ever wore them and I'm not afraid to show it cuz I'M SEXY AND I KNOW IT!" Bulk Biceps sang while flexing. "Yeah. I bench press 550 lbs and I can run in excess of 13 miles in one sitting. I bicep curl my obese girlfriend as a warm-up routine and slam a revolving door." Luna laughed.

"Congrats dude, you're hired."

"Really? Ohmigod, I can't believe it!" Bulk Bicep's eyes turned into cute little circles like the animatonic's eyes in the thumbnails for "how to make Five Nights at Freddy's not scary."

"You didn't even display the slightest hint of anxiety. All the other interviewees did." Bulk Biceps then grew a unicorn horn. He was officially an Alicorn now.

"Here is your magic," Celestia offered.

"Thanks but I don't need magic. My pythons are all I need," he said while flexing his biceps and pecs. "And my first act as princess is to offer free gym memberships and workout equipment for every pony."

Several months passed and yet all he did was greet people and work out. "I need something to do. Where's the danger?" In the library he was browsing the magazine shelf. He was sick and tired of being bombarded with all the articles about how to lose weight and flat belly diets. Then something piqued his interest. It was an article about the story of Tirek.

"Hmmm, maybe I can break Tirek out of prison so I can defeat him and be a hero. It's gotta work!"

Bulk Biceps went over to Tirek's prison and busted him out with a punch to the bars.

"I'm free as a Lynyrd Skynyrd Free Bird." Tirek cheered.

Bulk Biceps hurried over to the Canterlot castle as fast as he could.

"Celestia, Tirek is back!" Bulk Biceps panted.

"Remember what we did last time," Celestia commanded. When they were about to give Bulk Biceps their magic, Bulk Biceps gestured to stop.

"I got this," Bulk stepped up to Tirek and punched him upward with his mighty muscly arm.

"TIREK IS BLASTING OFF AGAIN!" Tirek shouted, then became nothing more than a twinkle in the sky.

"Fuck magic. Raw muscle strength is much more effective." Twilight said. "Oh crap, I forgot to give Tirek my magic. And so did every pony else." Twilight flew up into the air at nearly light speed and went into space, grabbed Tirek by the horn, and flew him back down to Earth, doing a Sonic Rainboom in the process.

"Tirek, please suck out all our magic. We don't need it anymore, for we have something greater." Twilight demanded.

"Very well." Tirek sucked out all the magic of everypony.

"Who needs magic when we can just work out for days on end to overcome magical limitations?" Some random pony said.

"He he he, now I am God!" Tirek reveled.

Then Bulk Biceps and Twilight Sparkle used their overly muscular arms to punch Tirek back into space.

"Whoa whoa whoa. We should go into space and get him." Bulk Biceps pressed.

"Why?" Twilight questioned.

"Because I forgot to take a video." Bulk Biceps insisted.

"Right."

After Twilight and Bulk Biceps brought Tirek down from outer space a second time, Bulk put a camera on a tripod.

"Oh great, you've changed your mind so I can rule Earth with an iron fist and have dominion over every pony."

"Nope!" They punched him into space again.

So Bulk Biceps was now officially accepted into Twilight's clique and every pony in equestria had trained enough to bench at least 800 lbs. The video of Tirek's destruction was posted on YouTube, with several thousand views already in the first few hours of uploasion.


End file.
